Hola, friends! Summer is officially here and I have the sweaty eyebrows to prove it.
After the recent passing of my grandmother, I decided to take a hiatus from my job. I was originally scheduled to return to work in two weeks, but extended it to August 1st. I am only beginning to find some clarity and solace. I couldn't imagine diving back into the chaos of my former life so quickly.
I've spent the majority of these past few weeks in isolation with occasional long walks through the city. I've been able to make some substantial progress with my horror/sci-fi novella Pretty Hate Machine and am hoping to finally have the first draft finished by the end of next week. After working on it for over 14 years! The majority of it was written this year. Once the draft is done, I expect to work on revisions for the next 3 months with a hopeful release by year’s end/early 2020.
In other news, progress on my feature film collaboration The Taste of You with Dan the Man Ventresca is rocking along. We were very lucky to find two ridiculously talented and versatile actors Chance Gabriel and Galia Barkol to play Sam and Eve. Filming is scheduled to begin September 14th!
I've officially returned to painting regularly. To prevent a further spiral into madness, I decided to place myself on a schedule and devote a certain daily amount of time to creative pursuits. In doing so, I've been more productive in the past 2 weeks than in the past 6 years. Likely due to the fact that I am not stuck in an office for 10 hours and don't have anyone to speak to most of the time at home. I've had a few bouts of intense loneliness, but aside from that, I feel good about what I'm doing and the decisions I have made. It's been a very long time since I've felt I was on the right path and am exactly where I'm supposed to be. I feel myself listening to myself, a kind of spiritual awakening. A newfound stillness. A soft, humbling warmth. My mind still fights against it sometimes. Reaches for the past: violent memories, mistakes, shadows. But as time passes, little by little, grain by grain, those moments become fewer. And if the rest of my life were to just simply be that: an extremely gradual dissipation of the worst of me. I would be nothing but grateful. I'd be content.
- B.B. Sunshine